ok...first update since the earthquake...

everything is perfectly fine (except this damn weather which is making  me feel sick) so i gotta leave for work in a little bit. 

going mai tai's tonight... all natro plays at 11.  if u need to find me there, i'll prob be in the front next to ziggy...there's no way anyone wouldnt notice him.  just look for the guy dancing up a storm...seriously.  then just look for the quiet shy girl next to him...cause thats me (ha ha  ha...me? shy? quiet? what a great joke, huh?)

k den...gotta get dressed.

/teeny

i finally had some credit apps...thank goodness!!!

today was good...woke up next to my hunny... (no...didnt sleep at his place...fell asleep in the car!!! ha ha ha)

well...not too much to say.  gotta go do laundry.

night all.

nothing seems to be happening now...talk about boring.

at home...all alone...no one to talk to...nothing to do...

boring.

yawn.

i want to go out...but nobody's free...dang it.

i havent gone drinking in soooooooo long.  need a drinking buddy (as in someone who will drink with me, but not let me get piss a$$ drunk) maybe in november...when im transitioning.

but anyway...im just waiting around for ziggy to call...that lolo-brain. 

k den...thats it for now...just had to share my boredom.

~teeny

ok...so here we are...on a day when most people dont work.  most people, except for me.  I WORK BOTH JOBS TODAY!!! may i say, lucky bastards who get today off.  all i know is work (job #1) is going to be busy.  crud. 

so i went to hoku's with jason last night... *sigh*  what a great dinner. (esp when someone else pays...j/k) he even bought me flowers...he was going to surprise me by leaving them in my room at gma's house, but i came home from work too early, so he just brought them to my door instead.  (all pastel colored flowers!!! and roses in there too!!!)  all i can say is wow.  i just got home about half an hour ago...wound up falling asleep in his arms. 

it feels so good to have someone who loves me for me.  someone who can look at me and make my heart melt.   and i just love the ability to fall asleep in his arms.  to totally trusting someone. 

oh, and i got to wear my pretty dress...(the one i bought during some "retail therapy" back in june)  i should put a pic up of that...i looked like sooooo hot. (nah...not really...the dress looked hot...i was just so-so) i feel so giddy right now its crazy.  last night was the night that i just didnt want to end.  why? because it was so wonderful. 

*sigh*

so im going to get ready for work, and hopefully not be too giddy. who am i kidding? im going to be giddy all day.  but i dont mind one bit.  tee hee hee. ok...time for this giddy person to go now.

~teeny

so dad went for a prostate biopsy last week monday...results came in yesterday.  he's got prostate cancer...agressive form.  so now he has two types of cancer to fight, lung and prostate.  im pretty sure everyone remembers my emotional breakdown last year when we found out about the lung cancer.  the doc gave him 2 months-2 years to live.  its been about 1 year and 3 1/2 months.  so im guessing this doesnt improve his chances too much.  i just dont know what to think.  this has been such a shitty year.  i thought that last year was the worst...i was wrong.  im scared and worried.  im glad that i have people in my life who care, people i can talk to.  im glad ziggy is in my life...acting as my shoulder to cry on.  all i know is i gotta be strong...for my mom and dad and the rest of the family.  so here goes putting on the brave face and smiling throughout it all...again.  not showing the world how scared i really am.  how much i want to just curl into a ball.  how much i want to run away from it all.  but i went through this before.  i just wish i didnt need to go through this again.  but the one sad and depressing thing is that this newest diagnosis doesnt change much...dad is still dying, it just affects how much longer he has with us.

i think its time for a new pic...so i guess i shall put up the one ziggy took of me last night (same one on myspace) hmm...

so today is a good day.

work sucked...oh well...

went w/ash and got my nails done...so pretty.

yikes...my post it notes wound up in my hunny's clothes...that he just washed...and now have yellow stains on it...yikes...

so he's looking over my shoulder right now.  but thats ok.  time to go pay attention to him a bit.

~teeny

day number...uh...whatever it is now...

still happy... still planning on being happy for awhile...no matter what.  had another amazing night with someone... kinda wondering if he's gonna read this one later...like when he gets home from work.  it really is nice to find someone u can connect with...esp someone that can make u feel soooo comfy...

so here's a question for anyone who cares to answer...we were trying to figure this one out last night...what do people mean when they say to "take it slow"? even better, what's considered "moving too fast"?   i dont get it...its like its an individual's take on life.  i mean, are we going old fashioned style and moving too fast means holding hands or something?  i really dont know.  cause everyone i talk to is telling me to take it slow, but how would u define slow?  if by slow you mean not exposing my vulnerable heart, well...too late.  i mean...theres still a lot of stuff that he'll find out about me...but anything he wants to know, he'll know.  thats one thing that i have no problem doing...being completely open and honest with him.  so i know im taking a big risk...but its my choice.  i chose to be with him...i chose to risk getting hurt...

baby, i've committed myself to u and only u.  i've told u this before, but it bears repeating: i'll be by your side as long as u want me there.  i'll never cheat on u or break your heart.  i'm yours. 

so now im going to get ready for work...so if anybody thinks of an answer to my too fast/take it slow questions, leave a message...or call me...i finish today around 4ish...

have a spectacular tuesday people...

~teeny

today was...well...interesting.

work was busy (mostly cause i was in the back by myself!!!) that sucked.

talked to my hunny on the whole drive home tho... (all 20 min of it)  he doesnt know about my xanga page tho...so i dont think he'll be reading it...aww... maybe i should tell him about it.  then again...not too many people know that we're together...mostly cause we never told anybody.  i think only some of his friends know cause i've been w/him a lot recently.  not even my friends know im in a relationship...tho they prob know now...just not naming names.  just that when u meet him, u meet him...whenever that is.  then again, i like never see anybody anymore anyway...wow...thats a lot of "any..." words... anyways... i guess this is kinda my way of letting any guys that ive dated before to know that im in a relationship so no more dates... well...unless they call me up and find out then...and not like there were that many dates while i was single to begin with... i guess most of the guys i met were cool as friends, but not really like bf material...i mean, dont get me wrong or anything, i'd love to be friends w/ them still yet, but just friends.  i could never hurt my boyfriend that way. whoa...scary...i said boyfriend.  so he's a little bit older than i am...i wasnt planning on him being my bf...just kinda happened.  he just started off as a cool friend that i could talk to.  but now...well...more than just a friend.  well...im gonna go shower and wait for him to call... so much  for staying single for a year... but thats ok...cause i've got him and im not letting him go... (baby, i really hope that you'll read this one...just so u know that im all  yours...mind, body, and soul) k den people...take care and have a great monday...

take a risk, cause u never know what u might gain from it...

/teeny